Spring is here… although someone forgot to tell the weathermen. I don’t know about you, but where I live, I still need to use my fireplace at night.
Nevertheless, according to the calendar, it's spring. Time to open up the house and let the sunshine in. Grab a few dozen trash bags, go through all the closets and the attic, and throw away everything that has cluttered up the house.
I decided this spring I needed to clear the junk out of my head first. Only a few months into the New Year, and I already had too much on my mind.
I still had a lot of questions built up from last year. God, why did this happen? Why did I pray for this, and it still fell apart? Why, God, why? The questions were piling up, and no answers were in sight to help with the mess.
I can be the ultimate pity party planner. Just give me one problem, and I’ll sulk on it all day. I could feel myself going there one morning and suddenly realized I needed to get with it. Thankfully, God sent me a gentle reminder that He was more than willing to help.
The same day I got on the elevator with a heavy-set woman who had a medical boot on her leg. Thinking that she's probably been asked a thousand times what happened, I instead asked, "Is it easy to walk in that thing?"
I fully expected her to start complaining about how painful and difficult it was with this contraption strapped to her leg. However, she looked up at me and said matter-of-factly, "No, it's quite easy. I've had this on for about a year." Then, she explained to me how she's had surgery on that foot many times, and it didn't really bother her.
I know it sounds superficial but the first thought I had as I walked away was, A whole year not being able to walk on your right foot. No fun shoes. Wobbling all the time… I truly felt sorry for her. Yet, while it made me sad, she seemed perfectly fine with it.
Walking down the long hallway to my office, the situation started unraveling in my head. Here I was with the imaginary world on my shoulders, yet I was walking on both feet with breath in my lungs towards a job that I enjoy.
I started to pray, “God, I gotta get rid of this annoying habit of feeling sorry for myself when the most miniscule thing goes wrong in my day. I mean, I have so much to be thankful for, I should be skipping to work every day. But how do I do this? Where do I begin?”
I must admit that I am the queen of unfinished projects. I’m a great starter. Following through is a different story. Cleaning out the pesky demons of jealousy, ungratefulness, and general pessimism would not be easy. I wondered, How do I start cherishing my life?
I was being rhetorical, but as I turned the key to my office door, I heard that still small voice say, "You can start with every moment."
I had to pause and laugh at myself. Of course! The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step, as does any big spring-cleaning job. If I could take every moment and enjoy it to its fullest, letting tomorrow take care of itself, in no time I would look back on a life of laughter and love.
So I sat at my desk, turned on some cool jazz, and let a smile creep across my face as I began the work I so enjoy. The day looked better already.
I can’t say that I completely understand how or why my life got so cluttered, but at least I know how to clean it up. And it may never be finished but as God continues to perfect the work He started, I can at least enjoy the process.